Tuesday’s my easy day. I only have class at eleven and four. When I got back from class, I was hot and sticky (and had to piss like a racehorse), so I peeled off my favorite black jeans and undid my shirt, knowing no one would be around until later. Now I’m dancing around like an idiot, iPod on shuffle, attempting to clean my half of the room, which looks like something out of a WWII documentary. I can barely make out the sound of footsteps over the music, but I don’t bother turning down the music. Must be the cleaning lady; she won’t mind.
That’s when I hear the knock. Fuck. What underwear am I wearing? Am I even wearing underwear? I turn and see him standing there, smiling at what can only be my not-so-professional dance moves, and my heart melts a little.
“Sorry,” I say, embarrassed. Play it cool. Maybe he thought it was hot. I go to my speakers to turn the blaring music down a notch or two while attempting to wiggle my way back into my pants. Wonder if he likes Tom Petty.
“I was really hot after class. I didn’t think anyone’d be back so soon, so I decided to clean up a bit. What’s up?”
“Oh, nothing. I was just looking to see if anyone was around to go grab some lunch.” He says with perfect nonchalance. I try to keep my cool and look to the clock to waste time, even though I know it’s way past lunch time.
“Well I don’t have class for another couple of hours. I don’t think anyone else is here, though; it’s Tuesday.” He already knows that, stupid. Don’t be a smartass, it’s not cute.
”You mind if it’s just the two of us?” I finish, not knowing what else to say. I pray he says no.
“Oh, no, that’s chill. I just feel weird eating alone.”
I laugh nervously and say, “Me too.” I really do hate being alone. “You ready now?”
“Yeah, let’s go. I heard they have vegetarian chili today.” Is he just making conversation? Or does he remember that I stopped eating meat? Probably not. He is a guy, after all.
I notice I never buttoned my pants and am shoeless. I hastily fix myself and put on the first shoes I see, the little red heels I’ve had since seventh grade. I grab my purse and follow him out the door.
We start towards the dining hall and I can’t help but smile. For the first time in a while, I feel safe.
“Thanks for inviting me. I know you know that no one else is around on Tuesday afternoons. It’s nice having someone to look out for me – I always forget to eat lunch.” I forget to do a lot of things nowadays – eat, sleep, study, and everything in between. I’ve been a hot mess since he left me. But I can’t get my hopes up. No one wants the fucked-up girl.
I put my arm through his and lean my head on his shoulder. Despite everything, today’s a good day.